Tuesday, October 9, 2007

The Study of Your Wife

In my first post, I mentioned my friend Pastor Jesse and his Life Group that he leads for married couples. I remember one class some time ago. It's been probably been a few years now, but it sticks in my head. A class member, Randy, shared with the class something very important about loving his wife. He said that to truly please her, he had to first know her and study her. Since her name is Nitra, he called this Nitraology! Very cool!

When you get right down to it, how much time do we spend on studying things we enjoy? Some things we throw ourselves in way too deep such as golf, fantasy football, cars, {insert your passion here}, etc. God commands us to "... love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" Ephesians 5:25. That's a pretty tall order, as we know how much he loves us! When we love something or in this case someone, we have to know that person. Study how that person needs to be both loved and what their passsions are. I challenge you to put more time into studying that special someone!

In this blog, I'm going to be sharing my favorite books... so here comes my first recommendation... "For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women" by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn. It's a great book that attempts to fill us in about this wonderful gift from God, our wives. It really does a great job of trying to explain what's going on in their heads. Also, it let's us know how they need to be cared for. I recommend this book for all husbands!

Besides reading "For Men Only", you still have your work cut out for you. First, if you don't know what she enjoys, FIND OUT! Secondly, once you have this knowledge, use it. Use it to please her. Here are some examples of how I use Ursulaology...

  • I know the TV shows and sports that Ursula enjoys. I might not particulary enjoy them as much as her, but I know that it please her that I'm there with her.
  • She likes it when I make sure there's gas in the car and especially if there's air in the tires. I don't know how she does it, but I believe she's a human air pressure gauge.
  • I know that she relaxes so much better if there's less clutter in the house. When I can and when God pushes me off the couch, I'll straighten up, vaccum and do the dishes. I love to see the smile on her face!
  • There's plenty more, but you need to find out those special needs of your wife!
Alot of this all sounds so easy, however, for me it's a God thing! When it comes down to it, I'd rather vedge out in front of the TV and have "Me Time 24/7". But, there's that commandment from God to love my wife. After all, it's all about pleasing God. I know that when I do the right thing, he's pleased with me.
Also, it's a choice... a conscious effort that we have to make each and every day. The great thing is that when we succeed in choosing this choice, everyone wins! God is pleased! Your wife is pleased! Our sons will learn how to love their future wives and our daughters will learn how they should be loved. Pssssttt... the really cool part is you never know what goodness is going to be coming your way by pleasing your wife.

Blessings to you with your ____ology! I plan to get a PhD in Ursulaology!

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